Come back! I love you.

My very first post.

Hello.

I am Wallflower.
That is the name I have chosen.
Who knows? Maybe my identity will change again. Maybe I'll get bored.
I know I'm bored right now.
Bored of life.
Bored of high school.
Bored of my family.

Tonight I realized I'm alone.
Even if people say they care for me.
Even if the person I love with all my heart says they'll be there for me.
I still feel alone.
I wish I didn't feel like this.
I wish the person I love was happy.

If you knew me, you wouldn't think that. At all.
You wouldn't see it unless you really look.
One person has noticed it. The person I love.

No one is going to read this.
So I can say: Fuck you. Fuck you all. No, fuck myself. I've screwed my life up.
The past week, I've really been wishing I could just start it all over.
Maybe then I'd be happy.
I'm not the person who I wish I was, who I wanted to be. I don't think I'll ever be that person either.
I wanted to be one of those people who LIVED.
People say it's not too late.
You know what? Fuck you too.
But maybe you're right.
The thing is, to be the person I want to be, I'll probably end up being screwed anyway.
I'd feel guilty for not being responsible of my family.

Oh my goodness, if only you knew how much I love you.

I don't think you know what I mean when I tell you that you are my life.
You ARE my life.
You ARE my life.
You ARE my LIFE.

I can't express myself properly.
So I'm sorry, my love, that you can't understand how I feel.
It's my fault.
It's ALL my fault.
EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT.
THIS LIFE IS MY FAULT.

I'm so sorry for being completely pathetic and for being who I am.
I hate it.

Sayonara. Pour maintenant.
-Wallflower.